I can hear your "The Knux" over the muzak. And you have cans on. Puh-leez.
See?! I’m already behind. But I’m also awake at 8:30 AM and I’m writing… only 8 1/2 hours late. Yeah I’m gonna go ahead and use this post to make an amendment to the original plan. My life is too busy being action-packed with awesome these days to feel the need to waste time indoors writing a blog everyday. That being said, as soon as I win the lotto the first purchase will be a laptop. Then I can go to Starbucks and be an official hipster douche bag with my black dark roast, Raygun shirt, MacBook, and ear buds.
As mentioned, I’m gonna take a page right out of “I Know I said This, But Now I’m Changing My Mind” by Katie Brennan. My *goal* will be to post at least once a week. I figure that’s a good amount of time to formulate topics, brainstorm, draft, proofread, etc. (Thank you, Mrs. Hingl of Valley Southwoods for making me do all that bullshit. Seriously.) I definitely want this to be a product of quality over quantity. I have enough competition out there as it is to worry about choosing something dumb to write about. You get what I mean. I’m lucky enough to know personally a few locally-famous bloggers and let’s just say, I’ve got some work to do.
So, this project’s (“Project Don’t Runaway”) First Amendment reads thusly: in the effort to preserve artistic integrity and literal sanity, one has the right to blog according to one’s creative output and scheduling allowances. Get all that? This is America, dammit. This amendment will take effect at 00:00 hours Saturday, June 4th. Thank you.
But since I’m here…
A large part of the reason I don’t have the time to write for you everyday is my social life and everything that comes with it. These include but are not limited to: shots, after hours (‘afties’, as I will call them from now on), couch-crashing, cab rides, and next-day car retrieval. I’ll say this now, mean it now, and I’ll still say it again in a month: I go out way too much and spend too much money on it. *whew* Glad that’s outta the way. The point is that all these side-effects contribute to the manner in which my day’s schedule is laid out. I’d say I’d try to cut back on the excess, but where else am I gonna get material? Besides work… well I do my share of throwing-back at work too. Hmm. Dilemma, or ideal? Please… latter.
So, in search of good material, I met up with some industry people at The Waveland in the DSM after I left work (about 12:30. See what I’m getting at?) Already had a ‘few’ after I clocked out, so I order a Coors bottle: “banquet beer” as a friend told me. Then I see the ginger beer. Then the mug. It’s Mule Time. I decide then and there that I must go on a mission to find the best Moscow Mule in the city. Listen, I don’t normally drink vodka because back when I was 17 I learned that it makes me angry and sweaty. On top of that, I had never had a Mule until one Mr. Chris at 34’s f.k.a. Valley West Pub made me one a few weeks ago.
"Chris! Make me a Mule, please."
Delicious summer cocktail. Just fell in love. Then Tuesday night, Mr. Tom at said 34’s made me a few. I think I have a problem.
Quick tangent: Chris and Tom are one of the best bartender-difectas in the city and its surroundings. These guys are the kind of bartenders you REALLY WANT to tip well as if in sacrifice to the gods of Cool-Dudeness. Friendly as all get out, strong pour, great iPods, and despite the plethora of alcohol surrounding them, they’ll have a Miller Lite bottle during the shift, if anything. Go to there… now. Tell ’em I sent you. Yeah I’m pretty important. I will elaborate on the pickings Des Moines has for bartenders in a later post.
It was clean, refreshing, potent, and COLD. According to Wikipedia, the Mule was invented by some American liquor distributor during the “vodka craze” of the 50’s (which is still going strong, of course). I’ll bet they were sure to include the English translation of the word ‘vodka’ – water of life (l. aqua vitae) in their campaigne. This guy, in a stroke of marketing genius, chose to serve the drink in a copper mug because… well because it’s cool in more ways than one. Not only does the vessel lend a hand aesthetically, but the metal is known for its high-conductivity. Conductivity applies in the absence of heat as well. That’s how I know that when I take a sip and come back from outside 7 minutes later and take another, that drink will be just as cold, most likely colder. Cool shit.
Now last night, courtesy of Mr. Tim (HA! Tom and Tim…) my Mule looked like this:
All that glitters might be silver...
Sure beat the piss out of my Coors. Yummy. Same bite from ginger, clean alcohol flavor from the vodka, bitter citrus. And COLD. Don’t quote me, but I’m guessing the mug is nickel or silver-plated aluminum, again, known among food professionals for its conductivity. I’m tellin’ you… Mr. Moscow Mule nailed it.
Obviously I cannot formulate an educated opinion based on two samples. So the search continues. I’ll let you know about it on the next occasion I get to imbibe of this phoney-euro-albeit-DAMN-GOOD concoction.
Until then, you never know who might turn up at Hy-Vee, so be sure to dress up.
Thank you for reading, sincerely.